Freedom, determinism, and stupid love

What did you say? Love is a sick joke of nature? Well, probably, sometimes nature has no sense of humor.

A friend thought he'd be ready to move on after breaking up with his pretty, actually very pretty and quite decent, girlfriend two years ago. Shortly after the disengagement, the poor gentleman's words and behaviors would show that he's fighting a nagging thought that he made the wrong decision. He'd later find himself trying to figure a way to get across the deep, perhaps now insurmountable, chasm between him and the source of his deep sense of loss. He googled and found blog traces of his inamorata, and finally, he sent her an email. I have no idea of what he said in the letter. Only God knows what's going to happen next. I'd bet nothing, if I'd be asked to wager.

But I'm still wondering if she might choose to answer him. Or should I ask, will she take the bait? Well, if you tend to sympathize with the girl, you'd probably take the case from the point of view of a Sartrean existentialist: the former girlfriend, because she's a human being, has the freedom to answer the email or not. But if you'd identify yourself with the guy, you'd probably prefer to take the case from the point of view of a Skinnerian behaviorist: that the girl can't make a real choice, and her response (i.e., one of silence or otherwise) to the letter shall be determined, mostly, by the content (the stimulus) of the letter.

Do humans really make a choice or are they all determined, at all times, by forces beyond their control? It seems to me that Skinner's right, but it bothers me to believe with solid certainty that humans are incapable of exercising genuine freedom.

Love relationship could be a very interesting thing. It often defies understanding. I mean, most people don't bother to think seriously or even dream about it. But when it's tension rather than friendship that sustains it, when it assumes the form of a sadistic-masochistic game, it's tempting to be curious about the laws, if any, that governs it. No, it's not the bodily contact that is contemplated here. It's the mind game that keeps those involved affected even when they are already physically separated. The funny thing is that they can't take the stretching too far, but they can't release themselves either from the tension they have created. How far could they go with the tension seems to keep them thrilled and craving for more. Boredom seems to be the unbearable enemy of adventurous love. And if you can't play the game very well or if the other partner ceases to enjoy the game, then the tie, we could expect, is bound to break. This makes me remember some friends and former students who almost got killed, nay, murdered themselves, because of miscalculations and indiscretions. Not a few came to me to keep themselves from dying completely. I'm glad no one died permanently. I'm happy most of them are back finally.